DMV- the Evil Empire

Well, send condolences, Andrew failed his drivers exam. His heart is breaking and so is mine. The Evil Empire, known as the Connecticut DMV, really out does itself in this one.
First they send the kid into a cubicle, the size of which makes any cubicle found in the movie "Office Space" seem spacious. With just a table, chair and the computer screen, they provide him with last minute pre-flight instructions and close the door.
The screen glows an eerie blue/green and the test begins. The child (in this case the Bean) confidently jumps in and starts to answer the questions. Some of the inquiries stretch the imagination. Other pearls are just too unique to let slide so here is the winner , I think:
Multiple choice- "When (not'if', you will notice but when, as if it is inevitable) When you smoke marijuana, which of the following happens:
A) You go to sleep
B) Your reactions and decision making skills are impaired
C) You loose control of the car

Okay, so how many of you answered B) Your reaction and decision making skills are impaired?

You too will fail the test if you took it today. The correct answer was C) You loose control of the car. Not rational, as it is a result of B), but its the Empires answer all the same.

So here is poor Beaner, scared to wits about the driving portion (we practiced backing into parking spaces for an hour in the parking lot of DMV the night before) but feeling confident about the written exam. He's gliding along on this blue/green screen, answering one question and hitting submit. Answering the next question and tapping submit. Answering the third and the fourth and so on. When all of a sudden- WHAM- the screen lights up and large DOOMED letters march across the computer "PLEASE SEE YOUR MODERATOR"......

Wait! What?!? Bean looks around this empty utility closet spaced room. Is this a joke? What does this mean? He slowly opens the door and steps out.... "What happened?" asks the moderator.... as if Bean should know??
"It stopped" Bean answers.
"Well you failed the test" the moderator replies "Did you study?"
On the verge of tears now, Bean answers "Yes, I did all the tests on your website online."
"Oh," bellows the comrade of the Evil Empire "Those are geared toward your learners permit, not for this test."
Wait, What? Bean thinks, they did not say that online.....

Long story short, the evil one escorts Andrew to his father, where he promptly bursts into tears (Andrew, not the moderator) and through gritted teeth begs to go home. Dad sends him out to the car, confers with the wicked witch of the DMV and schedules the next available appointment time- October. An eternity for a teenage boy.

When the dust settles, we realize
A) The Evil Empire will try to steer you wrong.... do not stare into their eyes, block your ears, its all lies. Simply STUDY THE BOOK and all will be well
B) Passing the drivers test has NOTHING to do with learning how to drive. Its all about memorizing THE book.
C) Be thankful you dont have to be tested every year. We ALL would fail.

XXOO


PS: We must stop Amy from staying in CA. Will you help us kidnap her?